By Debra Birner
"One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."
Romans 14:5
Happy Valentine’s Day! What do you think about when you think about Valentine’s Day? For many people, this is a day full of emotion and expectation. For some, at the end of the day, they may be giddy with the excitement of some grand date that exceeded all their expectations. And then for some, it will be a day of disappointment.
Let’s think about what our initial thoughts are about this special, “romantic” day.
You may remember being a child and in school, and there would have been a party for Valentine’s Day. All the classmates may have exchanged little paper Valentines deposited in white and red paper bags taped to a desk. The girls would have been so happy to have received numerous Valentines, making them feel popular and loved. I suspect the boys only really cared about the candy.
As you became old enough to date, this validation on Valentine’s Day may have become more important. I have watched young girls judge their potential future mates on things like whether or not they made dinner reservations or if they got just the right red roses, or chocolates or whatever.
I grew up in a time before Facebook and social media – yet, it seemed even then that getting just the right gifts was more about being able to call one’s girlfriends the next day to make a report than to truly enjoy the expressions of love/friendship that the gift represented.
I have observed that the men that make the best “dates,” are not necessarily the men that make the best “husbands.” As the years rolled on, I have observed this “validation” of Valentine’s Day grow into mountains of turmoil in the married woman’s life as well. You would think by the time a woman is married and settled down that it would not matter to her whether or not she received some chocolate. I am not here to knock Valentine’s Day – or any other special day.
I believe in celebrating my marriage EVERY DAY! Every day is Valentine’s Day! How so? Well, every day I have a “date.” Every meal together is special. Every walk together is romantic. Every quiet evening at home alone is a special romantic time.
I have heard women lament that their husbands “forgot again,” whether it be their birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s Day. I feel sorry for them – not because of their husband’s shortcomings, but because they are continually setting themselves up for disappointment.
If you have a husband that loves to celebrate and go all out – terrific! Rejoice and praise the Lord. And if you have a husband that does not care about all the hoopla of the holiday, rejoice and praise the Lord for him!
What I have always wanted was a husband that loved me, loved my children, loved God, worked hard, and spent time with us. And when my husband does anything for me (and he does much!), we consider it a “date.” We date all the time. Some days, we go all out – we drive to Wawa and I can get anything I want! We take walks through the park regularly – walking together, holding hands, spending time talking about our day – the best dates!
If your husband doesn’t want to do those things, then find out what he wants to do – and surprise him with that for Valentine’s Day. It’s okay to let him off the hook and say, you know, this year, let’s just stay home and enjoy each other’s company. Whatever you do, it doesn’t have to be difficult or costly. It is special because you are together.
If you ever come to the place in life that you no longer have your husband, it won’t matter whether or not he bought you a special gift. It will matter that you enjoyed EVERY DAY. Make every moment special. Enjoy each other. It’s all a gift from God.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Genesis 2:24