“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”
Proverbs 29:17
No regrets!
After years of child-rearing and training, I can honestly say overall, I have no regrets! My children have given me rest and brought delight to my soul! I have been pondering my children for some time. They are such a pleasure and joy to be with! No one knows how grateful my husband and I are except the Lord! All praise and glory belong to the Lord! Anytime someone complimented my children, I always thanked God first and then said they are who they are in spite of me! I am their mother, I am a sinner and have yet to “arrive!”
I am a constant work in progress.
I grew up in a good home with great parents who loved me and took care of me. Although, church came many years down the road when I began riding the bus each week. It was at church I met my future husband. We married after my first year of Bible college. Children were something we both wanted down the road. I searched the Scripture and asked God for His future help. Training my future children was my job, no one else’s! Deuteronomy 6:6-9 is very clear I am to teach them, when at rest, play, and all through the day, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.”
Again, I am to teach my children the Word of God and of His statutes. It is not the church, the Pastor, the Christian school, or the grandparents’ responsibility – it is MINE!
I purposed in my heart to be what my children needed and to raise them in the admonition of the Lord! I desired to give my children a goodly heritage. So, I wanted to start off right from the beginning. When my children were in their first church service, at our home church for my daughter since she was born out of town, my husband and I went to the nursery during the invitation and got each child then took them to the altar and gave them back to the Lord! We prayed and asked God to help us as we raised each child.
Some time ago, I was asked how we raised our children. I thought, “Was there a process?” I responded with, “Bible time, consistency, fasting, apologize, and love.” These were just a few of the things my husband and I tried to implement in our child-rearing days.
Bible Time.
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded” James 4:8. There are so many verses about seeking God and applying, I love his verse because it promises if I draw nigh to God, He will reciprocate. I must stop and take time each day to confess, seek God’s mercy and grace, and ask for His guidance in every area of my life, especially child rearing. If my heart was not right, neither was my spirit. Set aside time every day for the Lord, and you will have no regrets! Morning, noontime, or evening—wherever it best fits onto your schedule.
Consistency.
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord” I Cor. 15:58. I must be consistent in all things, did I fall short, yes, of course; however, when I did, I “pulled up my bootstraps” and kept going! Was I reminded by others when I failed, yes, of course, and had to hold my tongue many times because I was the one who was not consistent with my words. Did it cause grief with family? At times, yes. Others may not understand you are trying to be consistent with your words. Follow through when directions are given can be trying for both the parent and the child. I had to get to the point where I would consciously think about the directions before I gave them. God wants each of us to be steadfast— consistent. Try it, you will have no regrets.
Fasting.
“Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil” Joel 2:12-13. When I saw a problem with my children and had exhausted prayer, I knew I had to fast. I had to show God I needed Him to move in my child’s heart and that I was willing to do whatever it took to accomplish His work in my child’s heart. Fasting sets us apart from “things.” I am able to scrutinize myself and prioritize prayer better when I fast. It may take once a week, or it may take consecutive days to see answered prayer, but you will see it. God is gracious and merciful as Joel reminds us. Fast for your children. It will be time spent with the Lord, that you will not regret!
Apologize.
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” James 5:16. Tell your children when you have wronged them. I expect them to apologize when they wrong others, thus, I must be willing to apologize when I have said or done wrong to them. Trust me, an apology from Mom may bring you closer than you even thought possible to your child. Apologize to your children, you will never regret it!
Love.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” I Cor. 13:4-5. Show your children you love them. Tell your children you love them. Affection is desired by every person. Give your child proper attention, and they will not seek affection elsewhere. Life gets busy and can become mundane. I tried to keep love in our home. Make love a priority, it is often the first item to slip down the priority list. Praise your children when they have done right. I once heard a saying, “Give ten times the praise for every one negative your child does.” I have tried to add more praise in their lives while rearing my children. Correction is always remembered; thus, I have to give more praise. Love your children; you will never regret it!
Rearing godly children is the greatest, yet hardest work a mother can do! I do not regret having a career. I do not regret leaving my children to care for themselves. Did I work, yes— house cleaning which I worked around their school schedule. Grandparents were a wonderful help during the summer! I even got to return to the classroom as a teacher for a handful of years, which afforded me the exact same schedule as my children.
Today, I sit back and reminisce about how three amazing children have become six (their spouses are equally loved, spoiled, and appreciated)! And, so far three grandchildren to love, spoil, and, appreciate also. These are my best days yet! I am so thankful, and I tell God often, sometimes numerous times a day, how grateful for the goodly heritage He has allowed me to build so my children will then pass on to their families.
I just love Psalm 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Put in the effort and you will enjoy the reward! I promise you, there will be no regrets!
Maybe you were saved late in life and things feel like they are a mess. Maybe you are a single Mom simply doing the best you can. Find your balance. Remember, I too am a sinner and had to fight every single day to stay right, guard my heart, find balance, and remain steadfast! Circumstances will always arise, just get out from under the circumstances and TODAY commit to the Lord. Surrender your children. Daily beg for His mercy and grace.
No matter their age, no matter the circumstances, TODAY you can begin to pass on a goodly heritage to your children and you too will have no regrets!