Three generations give their various perspectives and answers regarding their relationships with their moms. Our grandmother raised a godly home and now is a wonderful example of Christian living. Please enjoy part one of this question and answer blog! We hope it is both uplifting and challenging! Also, feel free to laugh. Some of these answers are priceless!
1. What is something your mom always said to you and your siblings? Her “catchphrase”? Or a common statement you heard often as a child?
“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.” Proverbs 18:24. I don’t know how many times my mom quoted this to me but it made a lasting impression on my life. I never meet a stranger!
-C.W.
“Now, straighten up and act right!”
-R.W.
“Ask your dad.” No matter the question, nine times out of ten, we had to run it past our dad. Sometimes, if we knew mom did not mind, we asked mom to ask dad… We had a greater chance of getting a positive response this way. (Insert mischievous giggle.)
-M.P.
No matter what would be said around the house, if it reminded my mother of something, she would burst into a song or a Bible verse to make whatever we said turn into a spiritual conversation. This was quite corny and embarrassing at times when our friends were present!
One thing I will never forget, my mother would not let us stay home alone…like EVER! She would constantly say, “A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”
As I have grown older and observed families that had problems with rebellious teens, I realized they had one thing in common, they had been left to themselves. So if I have learned anything, it would be that I have my children to raise. It is not the responsibility of a grandparent, a sibling, or a TV to raise them. It is my responsibility. I hope to be half the example of motherhood that my mother was to me.
-K.M.
“Get up and sit down” - the irony of this phrase just explains why this still makes me laugh.
-C.S.
“Be sweet.”
-D.S.
2. Share a short story detailing a church or going to church experience with your mom that sticks with you. Feel free to share a funny or serious story!
I loved laying on her arm and playing with the “squishy” part. That part of her arm was the most comfortable spot when I was younger and needed a rest during a sermon.
Here is another. I was extremely shy as a child and for many, many years until I was way too old, I would always cry when I had to go up and sing, even in the kids choir. I always had to go up and participate, but soon after, my mom saw I was so mortified that she would let me come back and sit down. Normally, I would not agree with this now that I am a mother. But looking back, I was really that tormented about getting up in front of people. She stuck to her motherly instinct and let me have mercy instead of making me suffer through it.
-G.S.
My mom is a social butterfly. Seriously. She is everyone’s best friend. “Everyone loves Mrs. Deborah.” I did not inherit her ability to talk to people in the same way. I am more like a high functioning introvert. It is possible for me to talk to people, but it is not always easy. Once, she told me that “as the pastor’s daughter” I needed to shake everyone’s hand at every service. I tried, honestly. I tried developing a system starting at the front… starting at the back… catching people coming in the door… I even recruited my friends to shake hands with me. I never did make it happen... Oops! Sorry, Mom.
-R.V.
The last time my mom, affectionately called Mama Joe, came to visit our family, she was unable to go to church with me like she normally did. We knew something was not right. When she went back home, my mom went to the doctor and found out she had cancer.
-J.Y.
One funny story details my mom taking my sister out of a church service because she was misbehaving. My sister looked at the crowd as she passed and said, “Pray for me.”
When mom had three children all under the age of five, she did not get to sit through very many church services because she usually ended up in the nursery with them. She got a bit discouraged one Sunday night and decided to stay home from church with the two youngest and listen to the live church service on the radio.
She felt like she would not get to hear anything even if she went to church. While our pastor was preaching that night, he said, “Never use your children as an excuse to stay home from church. God gave them to you, and He can take them from you.”
My mom NEVER missed church again unless there was a genuine reason!
-D.S.
3. What is a characteristic of your mom that you hope to mirror? Feel free to elaborate on your answer.
My mom is so content. Extremely content! She never needs the nicest things to make her feel good about herself and is genuinely happy with all she already has. She does not “find her worth” based on possessions. This quality equally makes her the easiest person to please and the hardest person to buy gifts for because she will be thankful for literally anything you get her! One year, when I was asking about Christmas gift ideas, all she wanted was a calendar and … a three quart saucepan. I told her, “Mom, no one wants to be the child saying ‘I bought my mom a calendar and a pot’ when they are talking to their friends about what gifts they got their mom!”
-R.V.
Her amazing prayer life.
-G.S.
My mom is an amazing host and a prayer warrior. Mom was a pastor's wife. My dad would often invite people over without even giving my mom a heads up! She was able to whip up a good meal and made them welcome in our home. Her most well-known serving staples include honey buns and ice cream. It is a family favorite still today. (But, make sure the honey bun is warmed first!) Regarding her prayer life, there were many times I would walk in and see mom on her knees by her bed.
-R.W.
My mom showed great consistency in the home. With cleaning, cooking, staying organized and on schedule. This is a characteristic I hope to have in my own home as my family grows.
-M.P.
In my mind, even since I was little, my mom has always been the definition of a classy, feminine, and modest lady. I want to mirror her grace and ladylike ways!
-C.S.
4. Tell us when your mom went from “mom” to “mom and friend.”
My third year of Bible college was particularly difficult. I experienced terrible homesickness and emotional struggles. I called my mom almost every morning at 6am my time and 9am her time. I got up early just to talk to her while I got ready for classes. It was the highlight of my day. I could tell our relationship changed for me during those months.
-M.P.
Because my dad died when I was ten, it always seemed that my mom was both my mother and my friend.
-J.Y.
I am not really sure the exact time, but I do remember the older I got and the more mature I became, the more I saw her in a whole new light. I realized just how much I needed her in all aspects of life.
-G.S.
When I was eighteen and struggling with some difficult decisions, my mother was the only adult that I could confide in. She was trustworthy and honest. However, there was always a clear line between being my mother and being my bestie. I knew that she was not going to cover for my faults like a best friend would do, and she was never going to side with me over the rules put in place by my father.
-K.M.
I guess it would be after my first child was born. Although, even as an older teenager, I felt she was always more than just mom.
-D.S.
5. What do you hope to share with us about our relationship with our mom and a mom’s relationship with their child?
Be there emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Stick together and work through any hard times you face. Never ever have too much pride to say, “I’m sorry!” or “I love you!” Hug them, and keep them close.
-G.S.
I remember hearing a preacher say many years ago, “God made you your child’s parent, not their friend.” My mom was really great at this. She was my mom. I could count on her to tell me what was right and to teach me boundaries. Being “friends” comes later in life, but if you focus on just being a friend to your child, the level of respect they will have can easily match what they have for their friends. (This level is likely much lower). When I got married, my mom was my best friend, but she was also the one I wanted on the front row smiling (or crying if you know my mom….) Because I would be nowhere without her. I respect Mom so much. I am so privileged that I can go to the same lady for godly counsel and to tell her the problems I am having with my dry shampoo!
-R.V.
Learn to listen to each other. You can definitely respect your mom as a parent, but you can also still have great fun together.
-R.W.
A mother’s advice is invaluable. Soak it all in. If you do not have a godly mom, find a godly lady in your church to seek out great advice about everything you can- child-training, homemaking, cooking, homeschooling, and the list goes on and on.
-M.P.
